[Publib] Hydrox vs. Oreo: The theological aspect

[Robert L. Balliot]

Thanks Joe,

That certainly helps to explain the ritualized comment and response of
'Piece be with you' 'And also be with you' whilst we share in the Hydrox.

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Robert L. Balliot
Skype: RBalliot
Bristol, Rhode Island
http://oceanstatelibrarian.com/contact.htm
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-----Original Message-----
From: publib-bounces at webjunction.org [mailto:publib-bounces at webjunction.org]
On Behalf Of Joe Schallan
Sent: Friday, September 05, 2008 2:31 AM
To: publib at webjunction.org
Subject: [Publib] Hydrox vs. Oreo: The theological aspect

I bought a package of Hydrox cookies over
the Labor Day weekend and brought them
to work on Tuesday, placing them on the
big square table in the staff breakroom.

They sure got snarfed up FAST. But I was
able to sink my teeth into one before my
colleagues descended on them (images here
from Nat Geo documentaries with African lions,
hyenas, jackals, and vultures gathered around
the kill*). The chocolatety, creamy flavor
exploded in my mouth. Suddenly, it was 1957
in Dubuque, Iowa, and I was a kid again, just
come home from Sacred Heart School for my
cookies and milk. I had never heard of
Library 2.0 and was just enjoying the
moment, the simple pleasure of Cookie 1.0
late in Decade 1.0.

I had forgotten how good Hydrox are.

And then, with my second and final bite,
I had a revelation, which was precisely this:

Hydrox are Catholic; Oreos are Protestant.

Hydrox cookies partake of the baroque
sensibility of the Roman Catholic Church:
You bite through rich, velvety, crumbly
wafers into sweet, thick, sumptuous cream,
and by this means find yourself conducted
into the divine presence. Revelation comes
triumphantly through the senses as well as
through the mind. The cookie is a unified,
didactic experience. You surrender and let
it engulf you, just as Teresa of Avila did.
Salvation is readily at hand and is given
freely.

(Lots of people have interpreted Gianlorenzo
Bernini's famous sculpture, "The Ecstasy of
St. Teresa," in various interesting ways,
but I know what's going on in that depiction:
Teresa has just eaten a Hydrox.)

http://www.boglewood.com/cornaro/xteresa.html

Oreos, however, present you with thin, flinty
wafers bracketing an equally thin, meager
filling. Whatever minimal comfort they provide
is cold comfort indeed, rather like a Wednesday-
night-after-work Bible study which, if nothing
else, at least affords you a chance to sit
for a spell on a hard chair.

You are presented with a difficult choice --
to pry the wafers apart and lick the filling
or not to pry them apart, an action you would
not even think to consider in the unitary,
synesthesic world of the Hydrox.

Like one of Wagner's operas, the Hydrox is
a Gesamtkunstwerk -- a fusion of all the arts,
beyond deconstruction.

Oreos offer no easy way out, no smooth path
to salvation. If you pry, you are filled with
guilt if not with the admonishments of your
mother; if you don't pry, you are left frustrated
and repressed. Neither whole consumption nor
deconstruction satisfy . . .

Discernment is difficult; rewards are distant.
You do not know if you are one of the elect.
Salvation is not freely given.

Therefore, when providing cookies in library
settings, consider the choice of Hydrox or Oreo
carefully.

The cookie must be consonant with the mission.

A serious matter for a serious time.

Joe Schallan
Phoenix

PS. It is curious that public librarianship
is also Catholic, whereas academic librarianship
is Protestant:

Public Librarian: "Let me help you locate that
book. There it is (pointing at display)! See
that number? That helps us find it on the shelf.
Should be checked in. Come with me, and we'll
go back and make sure it's there. And I can
show you other books nearby that may help you,
too."

Academic Librarian: "You're on your own."


- - - - -
* By no means am I implying that my colleagues
are hyenas, jackals, and vultures.










      


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