[Publib] Re: Assault on Reason?/Censorship

[Joe Schallan]

Lise Chlebanowski:

"There are many stories like this in library-world. The collection development head that was a boating enthusiast and his library that had more boating books than any other is one that comes to my mind."

He must have ascribed to the teaching of that great philosopher, Rat, in Wind in the Willows, who said to Mole "Believe me, my young friend, there is NOTHING--absolute nothing--half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats."

Such focus is precisely why my colleagues declined my generous offer to take over the selection of the music CDs.  They were afraid, of course, of the following scenario:

PATRON: Excuse me, do you work here?

JOE: Hey, is the bear Catholic, does the Pope . . . . er, never mind. How can I help?

PATRON: Can't believe you don't have any music by Green Day.

JOE: (clicky-clicky-clicky) Yup. That would appear to be the case.

PATRON: Can you get some?

JOE: Green Day? Is that like Earth Day?

PATRON: It's the name of a music group, you moron.

JOE: Verbal abuse will get you nowhere. (Aside: As you shall see soon enough.)

PATRON: Sorry. I'm a rebellious male, aged 18-29. It is my demographic and my destiny.

JOE: I understand. Now, can I interest you in, say, "Alceste" by Christoph Willibald Gluck? Or "Palestrina" by Hans Pfitzner? Very dramatic! I also have two takes on "Der Freischutz," by Carl Maria von Weber -- the seven enchanted bullets and the girl who thinks she's a dove and all that -- as well as "Zar und Zimmerman," by Albert Lortzing, hardly ever performed, you know, which is too bad, because it's funny and good. And SIX different recordings of "Rigoletto," which is all about an extremely pissed-off disabled person, rape, an arranged hit, prostitution, murder, and a dying girl in a sack.

PATRON: Are you speaking English? (Aside: Though that last one sounds pretty good.)

JOE: These are operas.

PATRON: Operas!?

JOE: We have a lot of opera.

PATRON: Got anything else?

JOE: Got opera. Lots of opera.


My colleagues have exercised a high degree of professionalism in keeping that budget far from my grasp.

Thus, I am relegated to 914-919.

PATRON: You have one Lonely Planet guide on Italy and that's it?

JOE: We have travel books covering other aspects.

PATRON: Yes, I saw the sixteen guides to the great opera houses of Europe . . .


Joe Schallan
Phoenix
where people discover that if they can't
make it here, they can't make it anywhere