[Publib] children of staff

Tue Feb 5 10:02:15 EST 2008

I was just wondering if the difference in attitude
between these two particular managers had something to
do with the fact that one was childless and the other
wasn't.  I've had other managers who were childless
and were extremely understanding of my needs, and
managers with kids who weren't because they did things
a different way and didn't understand why I wanted or
need to things differently than they did. I've had
others who had kids and were equally understanding of
the needs of their single staff members.  I guess it
all comes down to attitude and some managers are just
better than others when it comes to dealing with
personal staff issues.  Same with co-workers, let's
face it - some people are just nicer than others.

I can't imagine telling someone that their needs
aren't as important as mine for any reason.  I work
with many single people and have covered for whoever I
can, when I can.  

Stacy Alesi
Library Name *Censored*
Boca Raton, Florida
& MLIS student at USF

--- Kathleen Stipek <kstipek at aclib.us> wrote:

> Several times in this discussion, I have seen an
> overt or covert
> dismissal of childless people as 'not understanding'
> about the need to
> bring children to work.  Single, childless people
> get it even worse in
> what passes for the real world.  More than once I
> have had this
> discussion:  X has to leave early for something to
> do with his kid.  Of
> course,  you'll cover for him.  No, I can't.  I have
> something to do.
> But you don't have any family.  At which point I
> flip out.  Single
> childless people have lives.  We have to do all the
> things the partnered
> and parental do without any--repeat any--help or
> sympathy.  When we get
> told at 4 PM on a day when we have two hours of
> errands after work that
> 'of course' we'll cover we say 'no' and are
> automatically marked as old
> meanies or 'not understanding.'  There was a point
> in the proceedings
> where I spent the dinner hour every day with a
> parent in a nursing home,
> but I didn't get any 'understanding' for that. 
> Nobody offered to swap
> hours to help me out including people who expected
> me to drop everything
> for a school play or teacher conference.  When
> parents will make a deal
> with me--swapping hours equally, asking me in
> advance where possible--I
> will be more understanding.
> 
> Kathleen Stipek
> Alachua County Library District
> 401 East University Avenue
> Gainesville, Florida 32601
> 352-334-3931  (fax) 352-334-3948
>  
>      --Non, merci.
>        Cyrano de Bergerac
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: publib-bounces at webjunction.org
> [mailto:publib-bounces at webjunction.org] On Behalf Of
> BookBitch
> Sent: Monday, February 04, 2008 10:00 PM
> To: publib at webjunction.org
> Cc: ladyhawk at well.com
> Subject: Re: [Publib] children of staff
> 
> This really hit a nerve with me, too.  First, policy
> - my library has
> one:
> 
> PURPOSE: To establish guidelines for visits by
> guests of employees. 
> 
> POLICY: Guests, including children and other
> relatives, may occasionally
> visit for short periods of time in work areas. 
> 
> PROCEDURE: If children or guests come to the
> Library, they should wait
> for the employee in the public service area or staff
> room. If there is a
> question concerning a visitor, the employee should
> consult his/her
> supervisor. 
> 
> That said, my child spent a lot of time in the
> library.  She was about 8
> years old when I started, and she spend many, many
> afternoons and
> weekends hanging out in the library while I worked. 
> I am very fortunate
> that we have a wonderful youth services staff with
> many activities going
> on, and that my child is a reader.  She was quite
> happy to curl up with
> a book, or two or three and she rarely bothered me
> or anyone else.
> 
> Prior to the library, I worked for Borders and she
> hung out there a lot
> too.  Management - I mean the General
> Manager/Borders & the Branch
> Manager/Library - were both understanding, Borders
> much more so
> surprisingly enough. Perhaps because my GM had kids,
> and my branch
> manager doesn't, I don't know. 
> 
> At one time my branch manager told me that my child
> wasn't allowed in
> the staff area (break room or
> bathroom) without me, and that is when I found out
> about the above
> policy.  I was glad we had it because it ended that
> problem.  I was a
> stay-at-home mom for many years, and it was hard for
> me to work full
> time when she was so little.  Frankly, I loved that
> I could have my
> child near me after school.  
> 
> I don't think I would want to work for a library
> that had such a rigid
> "no kids" policy.  If they treat employees' kids
> that way, how do they
> treat the public?  I can't help but wonder.
> 
> Stacy Alesi
> Library Name *Censored*
> Boca Raton, Florida
> & MLIS student at USF
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: GraceAnne Andreassi DeCandido
> <ladyhawk at well.com>
> To: Deborah <librarydragon1 at yahoo.com>,
> publib at webjunction.org
> Cc: 
> Date: Sun, 03 Feb 2008 16:00:30 -0500
> Subject: Re: [Publib] children of staff
> 
> > Wow. That one hits a nerve, even after all these
> years.
> 
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