[Publib] parent abusing child

[Karen Mahnk]

So true about one's reaction, Chris! - it's just as important as any
other customer issues, to not be judgemental & induce anger. Parent
abusers are often acting out from being overwhelmed. They take it out
on the child because they perceive that others judge them as "bad"
parents because the child misbehaves. Also it sometimes backfires if
you give the child extra attention - as some abusing parents feel that
the child takes too much attention away from their needs.
 We had such a situation in our library where a school-aged child
refused to leave w/ a relative. The child came to me before the
relative arrived. When the relative arrived, the child vomited on the
spot.  I got someone to translate to the relative that we were very
sorry for the delay but we needed to have the Police come. They stayed
pretty calm while the Police interviewed the child in my office. The
Police found evidence that the child's was claim valid & they did not
go home w/ the relative. Few children will volunteer to wait w/ the
police late into the evening for a silly reason. Despite the relatives
claim that the child did this all the time, this child never stopped
repeatedly begging to not to go home. Some staff were concerned about
angry relatives, retaliating - or that parents would be afraid to
bring their kids, but nothing like that ever occurred. If nothing
else, we have more kids than ever.
 Karen

On 10/3/07, Ryan <cryan2 at stny.rr.com> wrote:
> I am on the board of our local public library.  Mostly I lurk on this
> list and learn a lot.
>
> I am also a family physician, so I could not resist commenting on this
> thread.
>
> Child abuse reporting laws vary by state, and this is a nationwide list.
>  At least in NYS, librarians are not "mandated reporters" to Child
> Protective Services.  [School librarians, I'm not so sure--they may be.]
>  As citizens, librarians are, of course, free to report if they wish.
> In NYS, mandated reporters must give their names, etc; non-mandated
> reporters do not, although they may if they wish.
>
> There are two different issues here:  reporting the child protective
> services (CPS) versus calling police.  In NYS, CPS has 24 hours or so to
> make first contact with the subject of the report.  So don't count on
> CPS for a time-critical response.  As the NYS child abuse telephone
> hotline begins (paraphrasing):  "If you are calling about a child
> currently being abused or endangered, or a child found left alone, hang
> up and call the police."  The police provide time-critical protection
> and safety; CPS does not (cannot, logistically.)
>
> As for holding a behaviorally-decompensating autistic child upside down,
> I doubt the wisdom of that strategy.  Though I don't doubt that a parent
> might have been advised to do so.
>
> If you notice a situation between a parent and a child escalating, and
> tension mounting, sometimes an empathetic, "They certainly can be a
> handful at this age, can't they?  Can I help you with anything?" is
> worth a try.
>
> Found this on the masskids website that someone already referred to:
>
> http://www.masskids.org/pcama/pca_help3.html
>
> --Chris Ryan
>
> Jennifer Inglis wrote:
> > Yes, tough subject for the day.
> >
> >
> >
> > We had an incident (not the first) where a parent was physically assaulting
> > a child-not spanking, but in one instance a punch.  In today's incident, the
> > mother pulled a child along the floor by the arm (a bit of a distance), and
> > then proceeded to twist the child's arm with both hands.  Both of these seem
> > a bit out of line for general discipline.  My personal opinion is that this
> > is not normal behavior, but what is my (or my staff's) professional
> > responsibility in this situation?  No one was comfortable just letting it
> > go, but we weren't sure if calling the police was within bounds because of
> > privacy issues (the mother is a patron).
> >
> >
> >
> > My inclination is to call the police, and I'm looking into a policy
> > regarding abuse, but it's a line.  We do have a detailed behavior manual,
> > but it doesn't deal specifically with this issue.  I'd call the police to
> > find out what they want us to do, but I wanted to check with my peers about
> > the patron privacy issue.  I've called them for generally disruptive
> > persons, but not for this particular issue.
> >
> >
> >
> > Thanks for any thoughts,
> >
> > Jen
> >
> >
> >
> > ***************************
> >
> > Jennifer Inglis, Director
> >
> > Whitman Public Library
> >
> > 100 Webster Street
> >
> > Whitman, MA 02832
> >
> > (781) 447-7613
> >
> >
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>


-- 
Karen Mahnk,
Reference Librarian
Lake Park Public Library
529 Park Avenue
Lake Park, Fl., 33403
561 881-3330 Fax: 561881-3336
kmahnk at lakeparkflorida.gov
www.lakepark-fl.gov