[Publib] Attn Librarians! Your degree is a lemon! (Fri. Funny)

[Joe Schallan]

Thanks to coverage by the Librarians' Index to the
Internet (http://www.lii.org) of academic rituals
and regalia, I found the following page on the
website of the E.R. Moore Co., longtime suppliers
of hoods and gowns:

http://tinyurl.com/2ggup9

There you will see the colors associated with
academic disciplines, and many of them make a
sort of sense:

Agriculture: Maize
Medicine: Green (color of life)
Forestry: Russet (all that bark and leaf litter you know)
Business Admin: Drab (hahahahaha!)

And then you have philosophy with dark blue, which
certainly describes how you feel after any lengthy
contemplation of the human condition, though dark
blue could also apply to the "dismal science,"
economics, though economics is actually copper,
which makes sense (all those copper coins ever
since humanity figured out how to make coins).

Oratory (speech) is silver gray -- "silvered words"
I suppose -- but could be purple, except that
purple already belongs to law.

Public administration is peacock blue, which at
least suggests that city managers and department
heads have an inordinately high opinion of
themselves.

Which begs the question of why law isn't peacock
blue.

Some of the color assignments make no sense to
me whatsoever.  Why is nursing apricot and
pharmacy olive green and theology scarlet
(the blood of the Savior, I suppose, though
that imagery is rather Roman Catholic, and you
know what I mean if you were ever frightened
by a holy card of the Sacred Heart when you were
a kid).

In any case, I present to Publib the following
(drumroll and Ta Da!):

Library Science: Lemon.


Color is a wonderful avatar (sorry to go all 2.0
on you here) of a discipline, but begs the question
of why smells are not also associated with
academic degrees.

Yes, yes, I know.  At least half of American degree
holders would claim that their discipline should
be represented by the sweet aroma of those lovely
patties deposited by Iowa cows in their pastures.

In any case, go forth, Publibbers, on a lovely
Memorial Day weekend, and contemplate your
calling when you squeeze that lemon in your tea.

Your humble lemon,

-- Joe Schallan
     Phoenix