[Publib] Pet Names

[Shaw, Matthew M]

I concur. I believe that the intent of the person is what matters. In my
11 years working in libraries I have been called chief, Mack, buddy,
hon, sweetie, darling, sugar and a variety of other things, sometimes
even sir. I was at my daughter's orthodontist yesterday and the office
manager, 15 years my junior, referred to me as darling, just as she
always does and just as she does any customer, male or female. This
office manager is efficient, attentive and has a warm personality. I
wouldn't think of rebuking her by objecting to the way she refers to me.

If a customer calls a library worker baby or sweetheart or something
similar while leering at them, that is quite another matter. It is
offensive and should be treated as such. The worker has every right to
firmly object and, this is very important, library administration should
back the employee. I ran into a woman that I attended library school
with a few years ago and she reported that some customers at the branch
she worked at made her and other female employees feel very
uncomfortable by exhibiting this sort of repulsive behavior. She was
frustrated because her complaints fell on deaf ears with library
administrators and she felt unsafe and humiliated as a result.

Ultimately, it is up to the individual how they want to think and act
about this issue. But personally, I don't think damaging the rapport
with customer is warranted if no ill intentions are perceived.

Matt Shaw   



Community Libraries and Outreach Services

Forsyth County Public Library

660 West Fifth Street

Winston-Salem, NC 27101

(336) 703-2978

shawmm at forsythlibrary.org


-----Original Message-----
From: publib-bounces at webjunction.org
[mailto:publib-bounces at webjunction.org] On Behalf Of Jesse Ephraim
Sent: Wednesday, January 03, 2007 7:27 PM
To: publib at webjunction.org
Subject: RE: [Publib] Pet Names

>Now I am going to throw my two cents worth in...
>we have become a society remarkably thin skinned and easily bent out of

>shape about all of the wrong things! I love the public in all their 
>regional/gender/age based quirkiness and am glad they have taken the 
>time to come to the library. Hon, sweetie, chief, boss, it's all part 
>of dealing with the public, and I don't go home and cry myself to sleep

>because someone wasn't PC that day!

Absolutely!

It takes an awful lot to offend me, and even if I were offended by
something, I would remain courteous to a patron.  It's just not that big
a deal in the long run.

I'm short, but it wouldn't bother me if patrons always called me "little
guy" or something like that.  If they don't mean to be offensive, then
there's no reason to get upset.  If they do intend to be offensive, not
reacting to the "pet name" usually removes their desire to use it (the
"kill 'em with kindness" approach).  Either way, I don't let it bother
me - life is too short to worry about stuff like that.

In my personal life, I always look to the intent of the speaker if a
statement sounds rude.  If the person doesn't intend to be rude, I don't
take it that way.  For example, when I was working in a bookstore in the
early 90s I had a 3-year-old walk up to me and say "You're fat."  I said
"Yes, I am."  He asked me why I was fat, and I told him that it was
because I drank too much Dr. Pepper every day.  He was satisfied with
that answer and walked off.  He didn't intend to be offensive - he just
noticed something that seemed unusual to him and asked for an
explanation.  I didn't take any offense to it at all.  

Jesse Ephraim

Adult Services Librarian
Southlake Public Library
1400 Main Street, Suite 130
Southlake, TX  76092
(817) 748-8247
jephraim at ci.southlake.tx.us


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