[Publib] Mission Statements

[Backwage at aol.com]

Here in California, the Missions don't have mission statements.  If  they 
had, they would probably have been something like "Convert or die."   On the 
other hand, our police departments and libraries do; the cops also  have mottoes 
which they display on the sides of their cars.  This trend was  begun by the 
LAPD with its "To Protect and To Serve," which phrase was  introduced in 1955 by 
then-chief William H. Parker, who wanted the public to  feel that the 
department was moving away from a long period of scandal and  brutality. That 
truncated mission statement didn't help much during the  Watts riots, as I recall, 
and Rodney King got about as protected and served as  you can be without going 
to the next world.  
 
I'm not a fan of mission statements.  If you want to know what your  
institution is supposed to do, just ask somebody walking by.  They will  tell you that 
the cops go after bad guys and the hospital fixes busted  arms.  If you ask 
about the library they will set you straight.  Go  ahead and try this--it is a 
fine way to set your priorities for the next fiscal  year.  I bet nobody 
clears their throat and says, "To establish  gender-neutral programs in fulfillment 
of the educational and entertainment  needs of our diverse, changing, 
multi-ethnic and differently-abled  community."  Now there's an idea.  I'm going this 
week to our library  down the way.  Let's see what the patrons say the place 
is  for.
 
Meanwhile, my own selections for short-form library mission statements  
follow.  
 
1.  "Shut up and Read."
2.  "Quit that and go wash your hands."
3.  "To Protect and Serve Various Materials."
4.  "Don't make me hit you."
5.  "Your tax dollars at work."
6.  "All this for (insert tax rate here)."
7.  "From Lady Chatterly to Good Night Moon."
8.  "Go ahead and ask."
 
M. McGrorty
 
 
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