[Publib] Re: Defibrillators

[Lise Chlebanowski]

Mr. Winterbourne,

Though Joe's sense of humor may not be shared by everyone, I certainly got a Monday morning laugh out of his alt uses for defibs. I found it quite tasteful...however, when the laughs aren't there for me, I simply hit the delete key! :-)

Lisë Chlebanowski
Library Manager
Avondale Public Library
328 W. Western Ave.
Avondale, AZ   86323
lchlebanowski at avondale.org
623-478-3105
623-478-3809 Fax
 
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-----Original Message-----
From: publib-bounces at webjunction.org [mailto:publib-bounces at webjunction.org] On Behalf Of Reed Winterbourne
Sent: Sunday, December 10, 2006 12:56 PM
To: jbsphx at cox.net; publib at webjunction.org
Subject: RE: [Publib] Re: Defibrillators

Your lame attempt at humor has no place in as serious a subject as this.


>From: Joe Schallan <jbsphx at cox.net>
>Reply-To: jbsphx at cox.net
>To: publib at webjunction.org
>Subject: [Publib] Re: Defibrillators
>Date: Fri, 8 Dec 2006 12:20:35 -0800
>
>A Publibber wrote:
>
>" My recollection from when I took CPR training was that the trainer told
>us that the defibrilator will not activate unless the person  actually
>needs it, so if you try to defibrilate (is that a word?) someone who
>only has heatburn or something it won't start. "
>
>We have a Medtronic AED (defibrillator) at my facility
>and I have received the training, though, thankfully,
>have not had to use it in a medical situation on a patron.
>
>But it actually works great for heartburn, as I inadvertently
>discovered one day when we were all playing with the
>unit.  Now, if I go down the street to La Choza for
>a big enchilada plate and come back with a bad
>burn, I have a colleague affix one pad over my tummy
>and the other on my back, opposite the position of
>the one on my stomach, and give me a ten-second
>jolt.  Does wonders.
>
>This led to further experimentation.  The defibrillator
>is WONDERFUL for repairing a balky PC.  If the
>dang thing keeps seizing up, we put one pad on
>top of the system enclosure and one on either
>the left or right side of the enclosure, making sure
>not to cover any critical vents.  A thirty-second zap
>seems to clear all worms, viruses, spyware, etc.
>and resets the machine to original values.  Why
>spend extra for Deep Freeze when you already
>have a defibrillator on the premises?
>
>Somedays my mind is a little cloudy, and I'm sure
>it's a combination of middle age and all the
>weird stuff I took in the '60s.  (I, too, saw the bats
>on the road to Las Vegas.)  So, if I'm feeling this
>way, I have a cup of coffee and have a colleague
>put a pad on each side of my head and give me
>a jolt.  Clears the mind wonderfully and prepares
>one for a good, long stint on the reference desk.
>
>The defibrillator will also loosen stubborn labels
>from books, heat tea or coffee, desensitize 3M
>Tattle Tape (tm) strips, and loosen calcified
>gobs of gum stuck under library tables.  It also
>does a bang-up job on cleaning terminal posts
>on automobile batteries.  We're thinking of
>getting another defibrillator since the one we
>now have is so often in use by staff elsewhere.
>
>
>Cheers from Phoenix, where it is currently
>70 degrees (1:15 pm, MST), with beautiful, blue
>skies, mwa-ha-ha!!!
>
>Joe Schallan
>
>
>
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