[Publib] Deadly earnest serious librarians

Rebecca Bronson rbronson at hrl.lib.state.va.us
Wed Aug 9 12:13:42 EDT 2006


Another bemused lurker chiming in Joe. :)

Rebecca Bronson
Reference Librarian
Handley Regional Library
P.O. Box 1300
Stephens City, VA  22655

540-869-9000 (voice)
540-869-9001 (fax)

www.hrl.lib.state.va.us

  -----Original Message-----
  From: publib-bounces at webjunction.org
[mailto:publib-bounces at webjunction.org]On Behalf Of Ann Bever
  Sent: Wednesday, August 09, 2006 9:21 AM
  To: publib at webjunction.org
  Subject: Re: [Publib] Deadly earnest serious librarians


  Joe,
  Fear not!  It may be that many of the not-so-serious ones are lurkers
(like me).

  Ann Bever
  Dallas Public Library

  Joe Schallan <jbsphx at cox.net> wrote:
    Diane Giarrusso wrote:

    "Can't we just have a bit of fun and stop taking every little thing that
we
    do or that comes into library land so-o-o-o seriously?"


    Good luck, Diane.

    I have tried, lord knows how I have tried.

    But I am but one against 134,000 (OK, 133,999, since I'm
    leaving you out of it, Diane) oh so earnest, serious, take-
    everything-at-face-value librarians. I cannot win. My
    jokes will bomb, and the one saving grace is that my
    audience is too polite to mail rotten cabbage to Phoenix.

    I've covered this ground several times, and it's all in
    the archives. Once, in an attempt to explain the
    phenomenon, I speculated that through some
    demographic accident the bulk of librarians were
    Americans of German descent. If you know the
    upper Mississippi valley, or certain districts of
    Ohio and Indiana, you may have personally
    experienced the light, dry, sparkling, and ironic
    wit of the Germans.

    Right.

    At the funeral of one of my high-school teachers --
    a fellow who had a German mother and an Irish
    father -- it was said he had inherited the sober
    industriousness of the Irish and the playful and
    ironic wit of the Germans.

    The German difficulty with irony is well illustrated
    by Prof. Dr. Moritz Maria von Igelfeld's diatribe
    against the "damned obliqueness" of the English,
    in Alexander McCall Smith's "Portuguese Irregular
    Verbs" series.

    I recommend it highly to nonlibrarians, since it
    is replete with the damned obliqueness of the
    English (or, in this case, of the Scot).

    In any case, a torrent of reponses (all 11 of them)
    assured me that German Americans were no
    more overrepresented in the library profession
    than any other group.

    Perhaps it is the fact that the profession remains
    86 percent female? I've watched the Lifetime
    Channel, and it is deadly earnest serious stuff
    indeed, just like relationship flicks.

    (The critic Joe Bob Briggs once explained
    a surefire method to determine if a movie is
    a chick flick: If, within one minute of the end
    of the opening-credit roll, a Mary-Richards-type
    woman walks into a stylish apartment carrying
    a bag of groceries with a baguette sticking out
    of it, then it is a chick flick.

    Baguettes do not appear in guy movies.)


    Here's a test recycled from my April 4, 2002
    posting about the humorlessness of
    librarians:

    A physician and a librarian -- lifelong friends --
    love to go jogging together early in the
    morning. On one of their outings they get into
    a curious debate which quickly devolves into
    a full-blown argument. The point of contention
    is which profession is more important in the
    eyes of God -- doctoring or librarianship?

    The doctor tells her friend that library work
    is wonderful, but good health is the sine qua
    non of human existence -- without it nothing
    else is possible. The librarian's retort to her
    friend is the she is like a mere mechanic,
    attending to the machinery of life but not its
    spiritual essence. Medicine ministers to the
    body but librarianship nourishes the mind.
    Back and forth they go, neither yielding an
    inch of ground.

    Suddenly . . . a clap of thunder and a flash of
    light! The clouds overhead part, and down
    flutters a leaf of vellum with a message
    written in a beautiful hand. It falls at their
    feet and the doctor plucks it up so that
    both women can read . . .

    "My daughters, do not argue in such a fashion.
    Be assured that the work of each of you has
    honor and merit in my eyes, each in its proper
    place and each equal one onto the other."

    "(signed) God, M.L.S."



    Now, did you think that was funny? If not,
    how about this?

    "Why don't the Publibbers laugh at my jokes?"
    Joe asked one day. "Because," Karen replied,
    "you keep forgetting to embed a 'Humor' tag
    in your messages."

    "When the librarians parse your text, they have
    nothing to tell them that it is supposed to be
    funny."


    Hmmmm. OK. How about this?

    A writer from L.A. was driving through the
    Safford Valley in eastern Arizona when he
    saw, along the road, a rancher delicately
    holding a large pig aloft in his arms, so
    the animal could gingerly snap off each
    ripe, red tuna along the top of a long hedge
    of prickly pears.

    The writer couldn't resist. He slowed,
    rolled down his window, and with a big
    mocking grin said "Well now I guess you
    could fatten a hog that way, but it'd take
    a long time!!"

    The rancher paused for a moment and
    contemplated this, and then a look of contempt
    for the naivete of the questioner crossed his
    face:

    "Jesus Christ, man! Don't you know time
    don't mean nuthin' to a hog?"


    Hmmmm. All right. Yes. But I nicked that
    last one off Calvin Trillin, so you can't say I'm
    stealing from a less than reputable source.

    I have been unfair. 189 of you will laugh, not
    just Diane. The other 133,811 (or at least
    the ones on Publib) will deconstruct this
    posting for its political, social, and philosophical
    intent. A thread will develop. Earnest debate
    on the appropriateness of hog jokes will
    ensue. An ALA round table will be formed.
    Resolutions will be passed.

    But flame me not: I am already in Phoenix.

    Joe Schallan



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