[Publib] Re: But I'm a librarian . . .

[Lise Chlebanowski]

LOL! Joe, the tax question fantasy is hilarious. It never ceases to amaze me at tax time how many people are willing to let the librarian give them tax advice! Let's add the fantasy of making the librarian the beneficiary on insurance and investment plans and we're all set! 

Lisë Chlebanowski
Library Manager
Avondale Public Library
(623) 478-3105
lchlebanowski at avondale.org
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." 
Groucho Marx

 
-----Original Message-----
From: publib-bounces at webjunction.org [mailto:publib-bounces at webjunction.org] On Behalf Of Joe Schallan
Sent: Thursday, December 01, 2005 9:37 AM
To: Publib Publib Discussion
Subject: [Publib] Re: But I'm a librarian . . .

It is flattering, isn't it, that the public finds us so
polymathic and trustworthy that they think we are
CPAs, immigration officers, travel agents, lawyers,
building-code inspectors, physicians, and marriage
counselors as well as librarians?

Me?  I've always wanted to *perform* marriages.
Some of us offer notary service.  We should, like
ships' captains, be able to perform marriages too.
That would be cool.

(Yes, our own John Richmond wears another hat as
an Episcopalian clergyman but, John, have you
ever married someone at the desk as part of the
reference interview??)

The story of librarian-as-travel-agent reminds me of
an incident from the early days of the web, when
I worked reference at the Glendale (Ariz.) Public
Library.  A female patron leaned conspiratorily
over the counter and nodded at my monitor, and
asked, sotto voce, "Can you just pull up my
ex-husband's credit history on your computer there?"

At the same library, a longtime patron took a liking
to me and always asked for me by name on the
phone.  One day she called with the following:
"Joe, I have three sons.  Two of them come over
to my house all the time and help me out with
chores and fix-ups. The other one never comes
around. I'm redoing my will. Do you think I should
cut him out of it?"

I've always harbored a fantasy that may be filed
under the LC subject heading WHEN REFERENCE
LIBRARIANS GO BAD:

Patron:  "Can I claim 100 percent of my home
office expenses as a deduction on my tax return?"

Me: "Absolutely. In fact, I'd double your amount
and claim it just to be sure it 'takes' with the IRS.
Take my word for it, this is exactly how they want
you to do it."


Besides marrying people, we should be able to
do traffic stops when we're out in the city car:

TEENAGER (glumly):  "Dad, I got a speeding
ticket today."

DAD:  "What?  How?  Where?"

TEENAGER:  "Reference librarian from the
northside branch nailed me doing 47 in the 35-mph
zone up by the mall."

Now, having taken Raffi's advice and shaken my
sillies out, I depart for work, as I have the late shift
today . . .

Joe S.
Phx

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